A Few Fun Memories

Brian's approach to life:

Don't be afraid to spend more for a well made product.

Buy the one you really want or you'll end up buying two.  

There's almost nothing on this earth that can't be made fun of.

When given the choice, always get the filet. 

It's ok to let other people laugh at you if you know you are the best and the brightest.  

Movies should have explosions, ninjas or zombies. Good movies have all three. 

Brian made me laugh. A lot. He had a bizarre and inappropriate sense of humor, a lightning fast wit and could not be embarrassed. You never knew what would come out of his mouth, but there was a good chance it would be both offensive and hysterical.

Some of his more memorable quotes:

Me: "If I eat all those Oreos, I'll be 300 pounds!" Brian: "You're not going to lose 200 pounds by eating cookies..."

"Shanks.....shooze!" There's a big long story behind this about running through the airport without his shoes because we were late for a flight and he didn't have time to put them back on after security. It's much funnier in person and so much funnier told by Brian (as most stories are). 

Brian making his "shoes" face. 

"You can't trust Jason. He can't tell the difference between filet and a dirty sock." - to a waitress at Olive Garden while discussing which menu items taste the best.

"Rednecks making left hand turns." In reference to Nascar.  

"Snob Cheese" Brian wasn't fancy. In fact, he was adamant about not being fancy. Anytime we did something even remotely formal, he would find subtle ways to hillbilly it up a bit.  When I started buying a particular cheese that I really liked to go with wine or for entertaining, he dubbed it "snob cheese." For whatever reason, it caught on and now pretty much everyone I know calls it snob cheese.

"Poop!" This is a single-word exclamation spoken in high voice and said very quickly. He picked it up from Beavis and Butthead back in the 90s and said it pretty much anytime it was even remotely applicable. 

"God's law is greater!" Always said in his best excited southern baptist preacher voice. Usually used when he wanted to lighten up a conversation about politics or religion. 

"We are Americans. The most powerful country in the world..." While negotiating a refund with a customer service representative of Irish discount airline Ryan Air. 

"Sprechen sie 'boom?'" I don't remember the exact context, but he used to say this a lot when we were in Germany. The general idea was that Brian supported a might-makes-right foreign policy. It translates to: "do you speak 'boom'" in German.

"Wo sind die sheisse haus?" Literally translates to "where is the shit house" in German. This was Brian's unique and ever so tacky way of asking for directions to the nearest restroom. It's worth noting that while "sheisse" translates to "shit" it is not really slang. He might as well have been asking for the fecal house. He got an answer every time though.


My brain function and memory is pretty poor at the moment, so I'm sure there's more to add. Brian had a LOT of catch phrases.